


What's Good, Princess?

by timeforteaaa



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-31 00:57:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10888536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeforteaaa/pseuds/timeforteaaa
Summary: Taemin does not understand how wrong he is.





	What's Good, Princess?

i have no idea what this is. Im not even sure it counts as Kaisoo because theres so little Kaisoo in it its just weird. Very crack.

There was no plot or planning for this, and was written partly on twitter with the help of prompter kat aka kim-jignog between the hours of 10pm-2am. Its really weird,,,,,, it doesn’t end well either tbh i didnt know how to end it i was jsut tired and exhausted and so confused as to what i was writin i literally have no idea what this fic is

No drugs or alcohol were in my system at the time of writing this fic. This is literally what its like being inside my mind suffer wtith me. Violence is not the answer kids, alwas use thr power of your words. I also highly endorse use of the word plebeian.

This is so weird omg. ITS ALSO WEIRDLY VIOLENT LIKE I DUNNO im soconfused hy did i write this? 

Im genuinely confused. I wrotethis A\N at the same time i finished the fic so its 2am im confused

Please god don’t let this be my legacy, thats basically all i have to say

Anyways, i’ll see y’alls soon, much love to you all i hope u like this

Tea >333333 (can u tell im still on my old semi broken laptop )

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Ok, ok...” Sehun begins, narrowing his eyes into the distance and resting his chin on his knuckles thoughtfully. “We have to think of our game plan.”

Jongin paces up and down the empty lecture room before cracking his joints and jogging lightly on the spot. “We do. This needs to be a co-ordinated strike because there’s no way—and I mean  _no way_ —I’m backing down this time.”

“You’re right you’re right. Sports class is straight after lunch, I would recommend getting right in there, not in the changing rooms—too many witnesses—but before the class actually starts when we’re out on the field. Plenty of room, good, solid grounding and it’ll take a while for any coaches to sprint across and split you up before you can absolutely  _pin the fucker to the ground._ ”

Before Jongin gets the chance to reply, Kyungsoo looks up lazily from his lunch. “Can I make a suggestion? Perhaps you’re making a big deal out of nothing?”

There is silence.

Jongin and Sehun turn and stare at Kyungsoo, jaws dropped in outrage.

“ _Kyungsoo,_ ” Jongin whispers absolutely aghast. “How  _could_  you?”

“Look Jongin, I love you, I really do, but don’t you think this is just a tad ridiculous? I mean fighting over—“

“Kyungsoo I’m sorry but as Jongin’s coach I’m going to have to stop you there,” Sehun intercedes. “Jongin needs a solid, unshakeable mindset before he goes in for this win and I really don’t think your negativity is helping right now.”

“Kyungsoo as my loyal and loving boyfriend I’m counting on your support.” Jongin says, pulling out the pouty puppy face and instantly making Kyungsoo’s knees weak (thank god he’s sitting down.)

“You know you have my support, Jongin.” He is a weak, weak man.

Jongin’s face instantly brightens. “Good.”

Sehun lets out a puff of air and moves to stand behind Jongin. “Ok man, we have ten minutes left.” He massages Jongin’s shoulders firmly “You can do this bro, you can do this. You slay his ass, ok, you slay his ass.”

“I’m gonna do it. He’s not gonna know what hit him.”

“Hell yeah.” Sehun smacks his fist into his palm. 

“HELL YES!”

“YES! LET’S DO THIS!” Sehun claps Jongin firmly on the back. “I believe in you, man. I believe in you. Right, I’m gonna go and scope the field, check out the lay of the land for you before this all goes down.” He spins on his heel and points an accusing finger at Kyungsoo. “Don’t mess with my psychology, ok?”

“Yes boss,” Kyungsoo drawls, sending a mock salute towards Sehun as he jogs out the room.

Jongin is still a tight ball of energy, bouncing on his toes as he waits for Kyungsoo to pack his things up. He puffs air into his cheeks and lets it out slowly as Kyungsoo tangles their fingers together. “I’m going to do it Soo. I’m gonna kick his ass.”

Kyungsoo smiles, thumbing softly at Jongin’s cheek before they begin to head out of the room. “Of course you are, love.”

***

“I’m hyped for this man, I’m hyped.” Chanyeol booms enthusiastically as Jongin and his ‘team’ (Sehun’s wording) head towards the playing field.

Jongin can see Lee Taemin’s figure from here, laughing and joking around with that tall dude with the ridiculously long skinny legs. He bets he’s flirting, how pathetic. Jongin doesn’t need to flirt, because he has Kyungsoo, with whom 90% of the school’s population are in love because of his cute but also ruggedly handsome looks, perfect singing voice and impeccable manners. Ha, beat that Taemin.

Junmyeon rubs his hands over his eyes, tugging on his shorts anxiously. “Xing? Do you have your first aid kit with you?”

Yixing nods, indicating the small kit bag he’s brought down onto the field with him.

“Ah, good.” Junmyeon mutters and Minseok pats his back comfortingly.

Baekhyun and Jongdae cackle as they begin checking their phone cameras are poised and ready. “This is going to be  _brilliant_.” Baekhyun sniggers, his tongue poking between his teeth excitedly.

Jongin slings his arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder as Sehun continues to run through the game plan.

Kyungsoo squeezes his waist fondly and tries not to roll his eyes.

The group approaches the grass field in the centre of the running track and oddly, it’s Taemin who speaks up first.

“What’s good, Princess?” He hollers.

Kyungsoo immediately clenches the arm around Jongin’s waist because if there’s anything that’s guaranteed to make his boyfriend mad it’s  _that._ Only he is allowed to call Jongin princess; Jongin hates it if anyone else calls him that. He isn’t  _their_ princess; he’s only a certain someone’s princess.

Jongin merely snarls in response, drawing the attention of several others of their classmates.

“Jongin, babe” Kyungsoo mutters, “Stay calm.”

“You’re just jealous, because you  _know_  I’m right.” Taemin says, strolling up to Jongin. Kibum and Jonghyun stand a little awkwardly behind him, glancing nervously at the rather formidable squad Jongin as assembled. They don’t think their secret weapon (aka Jinki) could stand a chance against Kim Minseok. The guy may have the face of a steamed bun but the boy is  _packing some_.

A circle begins to form around the two sides, with whispers and giggles rising up into the air.

Kyungsoo spots that Jongdae and Baekhyun have already got their cameras out, and his eyes finally roll themselves involuntarily. There was only so long he could suppress it for anyway.

“You really think you’re  _right?_ ” Jongin hisses, eyes narrowed. “You really think that Aurora is better than Ariel?”

“Erm, of course I do princess? What does your little miss fishy have that the actual Queen doesn’t, huh?”

“Do  _not_ call Ariel fishy.” Jongin shakes his head. “You absolute plebeian.”

The crowd ‘oohs’ lowly.

Taemin presses a hand daintily to his chest. “Plebeian? Me? At least I’m not the one that stans easily the  _worst_ Disney princess.”

“Is that really the best you’ve got, huh? Throwing around lame, reaching insults? I’d be ashamed if I were you. You should come to Ariel’s side. Not only is she beautiful, but she has an incredible singing voice—“

“Aurora sings too I’ll have you know—“

“—Ariel also promotes interracial friendships. When was the last time you saw Aurora buddying up to a lobster?” Jongin says, raising his eyebrows challengingly and fighting against Kyungsoo’s hold to square up to the boy.

“Woo! Go Jongin!” Chanyeol hollers from somewhere in the back.

“Nice targeted attack man I like it!” Sehun yells in turn.

Kyungsoo resorts to keeping a tight grip on the back of Jongin’s t-shirt, preparing to wrench him back at the first sign of a problem.

Poor Junmyeon is already looking neurotic and Kyungsoo’s knows Jongin well enough to know this fight is far from over.

“Please, Ariel is a terrible role model. She promotes the idea that young girls should change their image for a man.”

There are a few gasps amongst the crowd.

“She does  _no such thing_.” Jongin nearly screams in frustration. “She wanted legs so she could be with the man of her dreams, she only wanted them because she wanted to be close enough to Eric for him to fall in love with her—“

“—Superficial, much?--”

“—Well at least she isn’t a floozy unlike Aurora, who marries the first guy she sees just because he kissed her!”

“Aurora was cursed!”

“So was Ariel, but she still had time to actually  _get to know Eric_. I think we all know who the superficial one is here. It’s Aurora, in case you weren’t sure.”

Kyungsoo adjusts his grip in the back of Jongin’s shirt. He knows this is a stupid, ridiculous argument but he can’t deny he is just a little proud of Jongin. He’s making his points well and Kyungsoo knows this clearly means a lot to him and hey, passion is sexy in a man. Even if it is passion over... Disney princesses.

“Aurora had a traumatic childhood—“

“—Ariel was controlled by her father.” Jongin fires back. “But she never let it bring her down.”

“Aurora ended up marrying the best Disney prince, aka Prince Phillip.”

“Oh puh- _lease_ , Eric was  _way_ hotter than Prince Phillip.”

“At least Phillip wasn’t drippy, unlike Eric. He was a proper prince. They are  _totally_ relationship goals.”

“Um, hello, Ariel and Eric are the true relationship goals, after me and Soo of course, but clearly you wouldn’t know anything about having a relationship would you? You must be really lonely. ”

“Really? That’s low even coming from you. And please, you and Kyungsoo as relationship goals? You are the Hans and Anna of relationships.”

The masses gasp in unison.

Jongin’s jaw drops.

“You did  _not_ just go there.” Sehun chokes.

Joohyun faints in the crowd.

Tumbleweed rolls in the distance.

Deathly silence falls across the field.

Kyungsoo lets go of Jongin’s t-shirt. “Baby? Kick his ass.”

Jongin lunges forward and the crowd goes wild.

“GET HIM JONGIN! SMACK HIM ONE!” Sehun yells.

The girls are screaming, flapping their hands wildly as Taemin claws at Jongin’s hair.

“TWENTY SAYS TAEMIN TO WIN!”

“THIRTY SAYS JONGIN!”

Classmates start picking sides, jeering and cheering as the fight begins to escalate. “CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CAT FIGHT!!!”

“Kyungsoo what on EARTH did you do that for!?” Junmyeon wheezes whilst Jongin lets out a screech as he swipes at Taemin’s face.

“Well, I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo says, stepping back as his boyfriend and Taemin roll around in a heap of screams on the floor. “He just really overstepped the line.”

“Kyungsoo there is NO LINE! They’re arguing about Disney!”

“Oh there is a line; there is a real big line when it comes to a NOTP. Hans and Anna is jointly our most hated pairing, and I’m afraid to say that Jongin is justified in his actions.”

“HE’S RIPPING TAEMIN’S EXTENSIONS OUT!”

Sehun screams instructions at Jongin from the sidelines, being careful to sidestep the warring pair as the claw at each other.

Kyungsoo looks on proudly as Jongin lands a good slap to the side of Taemin’s face.

“USE YOUR NAILS TAEMIN!”

“I hate you so much!” Taemin screams as another handful of his hair falls out.

“I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOUR HAIR WAS FAKE!” Jongin screeches in victory.

Jongdae and Baekhyun are both running around and trying to get the best angles, all the while shouting commentary at their devices. “And Jongin’s got a hold of Taemin’s hair again; will he rip out more extensions, who knows?”

Minseok, Yixing and Junmyeon are valiantly trying to separate a seething Jongin, while Kibum and Jonghyun try to calm Taemin, but it seems there is no stopping the violent flailing of limbs.

“CAN YOU BELIEVE IT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TAEMIN IS USING HIS TEETH HE’S SINKING HIS TEETH INTO JONGIN’S SHOULDER THIS REALLY IS AN UNPRECEDENTED MOVE!”

“YOU BITCH!” Jongin screams, doing his best to dig his nails into Taemin’s side to get him to release his shoulder.

“GET OFF ME! THIS SHIRT IS DESIGNER!” Taemin squeals as Jongin manages to push him into a great pile of dirt, scratching his nails down his arm.

Jongin grins victoriously until Taemin bites at his hand “STOP DOING THAT!”

“Kyungsoo will you  _help,_ please?” A strained Minseok yells as he tries to stick his hand between Taemin and Jongin. The poor boy looks positively lost in no man’s land.

“No! Do not do that can’t you see he’s winning! He’s clearly winning!” Sehun screams excitedly. “Come on Jongin do me proud bro!”

“That’s my boy!” Kyungsoo coos adoringly, clapping as Jongin attempts to strangle Taemin with his own extensions. “Hell yes—wait is that  _blood?_ ”

That’s definitely blood. Kyungsoo has no idea whose blood it is, but the mere thought that it  _could_ be Jongin’s is enough to have him leaping into action and finally helping to break up the fight.

“Jongin? Jongin!” He says, placing his hand softly on Jongin’s back.

The boy freezes, his body immediately loosening up at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. Although he still sits on Taemin’s chest with his hands ready to wrap round his throat.

Taemin certainly looks worse for wear, his lip is split, his eye looks blackened and his cheek is starting to turn an angry red.

“Jongin, I think that’s enough now, love.” Kyungsoo says quietly. Jongin himself looks a little worse for wear, with lots of heavy bite marks and lightly bleeding trails on his arms, neck and face.

“Aw, but I was just starting to enjoy it.” He says quietly, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes again and forcibly drags his boyfriend up.

“We need to get you patched up.”

Kibum and Jonghyun anxiously try to pick Taemin up out of the dirt in case Jongin decides to release his wrath again. Taemin smacks their hands away with a frown.

“Did I win though? Did I win? I’m not leaving unless I won Soo I’m gonna teach him a lesson or two.” His nose is starting to bleed too.

Sehun runs forward with tears streaming down his face. “I’m so proud, I’m so so proud.” He blubs.

Taemin uses the break in action to angrily collect his hair extensions and strut away. “I cannot  _believe_  this,” He hisses, sneering at the crowd as they boo him for the anticlimactic ending. They were expecting at least one person to be passed out by the end, especially as it’s been a while since the last decent physical catfight.

“You won man, you won!” Chanyeol beams, clapping Jongin on the back and pushing Sehun off him for a hug. “He retreated, that means you won!”

Jongin looks slightly delirious, and Kyungsoo suddenly worries about the amount of hits he might have taken to the head as well as the blood loss. Jongin smiles broadly though. “I won.”

Then he passes out.

***

That weekend, Jongin is round at Kyungsoo’s house still covered in assorted bandages.

He was expelled from school for the remainder of the month, and ordered to pay for Taemin to get new hair extensions. He felt the punishment was rather harsh, considering he did win the fight, and it was Taemin’s fault anyway for provoking him.

Kyungsoo brings in a bowl of popcorn and shoves The Little Mermaid into the DVD player of the TV at the end of his bed, before climbing in beside his boyfriend and checking over his wounds. “Next time, don’t get into such stupid fights, ok? I told you it was making a big deal of nothing.”

“Yeah, but you approved of me breaking at the Hans and Anna comment though didn’t you?”

“Well yes, but I still don’t think it was worth you getting hurt over.”

“Aw,” Jongin pouts before Kyungsoo meets him and presses their lips together shortly. “You do care about me.” He teases.

Kyungsoo huffs and smacks him lightly on the chest. “I love you, you loser.”

“I love you too, Soo.” Jongin giggles. “You still believe that Ariel’s the best princess though, right?”

“Of course I do, princess.”

This time, instead of starting a fight Jongin merely blushes and snuggles shyly under the covers.

Kyungsoo smirks. Yeah, beat that Taemin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**If u still wanna be friends with me after this then thank u**

 

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**Author's Note:**

> cross posted from asianfanfics (timefortea)!


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